- Maxi Rodriguez
In the midst of Champions League matches and the Spanish Super Copa, many fans missed a quiet moment between two friends. Thanks to our European sources, we have a transcript.
INT. EMIRATES STADIUM – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Andrei Asharvin exits the Arsenal team bus, to be met by his lifelong friend, Gunnersaurus. The tension is palpable.
Gunnersaurus: Andrei, where are you going!?
Andrei: To the pitch, of course.
Gunnersaurus: So you’re not heading towards the airport to leave for another club in another city?
Andrei: There have been invitations, my agent tells me, but no. If I were to go to say, Makhachkala, or Moscow, who would play chess with me in the park and join me to visit botanical gardens?
Gunnersaurus: Do you promise? First there was Gael, and then Cesc, and now Samir won’t return my calls. I told him I would help if he couldn’t make his part of the rent. The flat seems so lifeless without him…
Andrei: HA! As they say, all is fair in love and war.
Gunnersaurus: …What is that supposed to mean…?
At this point, Andrei pulls a copy of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment from his backpack. He thumbs through the tattered book with intent, before noticing Gunnersaurus is staring at him.
Andrei: Don’t worry my prehistoric friend. I couldn’t leave you alone, not after the journeys we’ve shared.
Gunnersaurus: I’m so happ—-
Andrei: Remember the time my daughter was kidnapped by an exiled dictator, and we only had 11 hours to save her?
Gunnersaurus: Wait, wha—-
Andrei: Or the time we went undercover as kindergarten teachers to smoke out the wife of a murderous drug dealer?
Gunnersaurus: Smoke out?
Andrei: Or a few Christmas’ ago, when my son wanted an action figure that the shops had long sold out?
Gunnersaurus: Andrei, these are the plots of Arnold Schwarzenegger films…
Andrei: HA! A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand.
Gunnersaurus: I’m pretty sure that’s not—
Andrei: My friend, do not worry. If you stay, I will stay.
At this point, the two life-long friends share a tender moment, confirming their pact.
Gunnersaurus: I can’t quit you Andrei…
INT. THE ASHARVIN KITCHEN — THE NEXT DAY
Andrei flips through a copy of the Daily Mirror before being confronted by the following image…
Andrei: Yulia, grab my parka. We have a train to catch.
–Scene–
Second image created by Walking Cloud, a Reddit user. Original thread HERE.
A Conversation Between Andrei and Gunnersaurus
- Maxi Rodriguez
In the midst of Champions League matches and the Spanish Super Copa, many fans missed a quiet moment between two friends. Thanks to our European sources, we have a transcript.
INT. EMIRATES STADIUM – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Andrei Asharvin exits the Arsenal team bus, to be met by his lifelong friend, Gunnersaurus. The tension is palpable.
Gunnersaurus: Andrei, where are you going!?
Andrei: To the pitch, of course.
Gunnersaurus: So you’re not heading towards the airport to leave for another club in another city?
Andrei: There have been invitations, my agent tells me, but no. If I were to go to say, Makhachkala, or Moscow, who would play chess with me in the park and join me to visit botanical gardens?
Gunnersaurus: Do you promise? First there was Gael, and then Cesc, and now Samir won’t return my calls. I told him I would help if he couldn’t make his part of the rent. The flat seems so lifeless without him…
Andrei: HA! As they say, all is fair in love and war.
Gunnersaurus: …What is that supposed to mean…?
At this point, Andrei pulls a copy of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment from his backpack. He thumbs through the tattered book with intent, before noticing Gunnersaurus is staring at him.
Andrei: Don’t worry my prehistoric friend. I couldn’t leave you alone, not after the journeys we’ve shared.
Gunnersaurus: I’m so happ—-
Andrei: Remember the time my daughter was kidnapped by an exiled dictator, and we only had 11 hours to save her?
Gunnersaurus: Wait, wha—-
Andrei: Or the time we went undercover as kindergarten teachers to smoke out the wife of a murderous drug dealer?
Gunnersaurus: Smoke out?
Andrei: Or a few Christmas’ ago, when my son wanted an action figure that the shops had long sold out?
Gunnersaurus: Andrei, these are the plots of Arnold Schwarzenegger films…
Andrei: HA! A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand.
Gunnersaurus: I’m pretty sure that’s not—
Andrei: My friend, do not worry. If you stay, I will stay.
At this point, the two life-long friends share a tender moment, confirming their pact.
Gunnersaurus: I can’t quit you Andrei…
INT. THE ASHARVIN KITCHEN — THE NEXT DAY
Andrei flips through a copy of the Daily Mirror before being confronted by the following image…
Andrei: Yulia, grab my parka. We have a train to catch.
–Scene–
Second image created by Walking Cloud, a Reddit user. Original thread HERE.